Forty One Candles
Forty One things that Forty One years have taught me:
There is nothing quite as magical as the sunrise and the gentle consistency with which it arrives.
The loneliness of being alone for the right reasons is nothing compared to the loneliness of being with someone for the wrong reasons.
Falling in love with potential can be the worst kind of heartbreak.
Teenage boys feel every bit as deeply as everyone else, despite their apparent oblivion.
Captivity can be easier than freedom. Sometimes it is easier to tell ourselves that we don’t have a choice than it is to make an actual choice.
Perfectionism is a cruel and unforgiving master and offers only an illusion of reward.
A dog can demand presence when we can’t summon it in our self.
Sometimes the thing that saves us at one point can sink us at another. Our strengths, when they become our defaults, can become weaknesses.
The integrity of other people is often wildly different from our own integrity.
Our parents did the very best they could with what they had.
Some patterns are made to be broken.
You can do anything – not everything. Choose.
Forcing something never works.
Your intuitive voice is always right.
Your intuitive voice and your fear are not the same thing.
Two things can be true at once. Even in opposition.
Offending people is easy.
Jealousy is the grossest and most destructive emotion. Feeling it and receiving it.
We cannot really do for others – only for ourselves.
The very first time someone tells you who they are, believe them.
The clearness of mornings that are unencumbered by a two glass wine fog or a whole bottle hangover is one of the best gifts I have ever given myself.
My choice not to drink or drug myself makes some people wildly uncomfortable.
Sometimes the greatest gift you can give or receive is walking away.
February is better when it has purple flowers popping up through the ground, cherry blossoms on the trees and freshness in the air.
A conviction and a willingness to act on it is one of the most powerful and inspiring qualities someone can have.
Courage over fearlessness.
Justification is just like masturbation – nobody gets fucked but you.
Kindness over playing nice. Every time.
Our breath is the single most powerful tool we have in any situation.
When attachment (relationship with others) and authenticity (relationship with self) come into conflict, attachment is the default. This can cause deep suffering.
Sometimes breaking commitments is the most honourable thing we can do.
That divorce doesn’t have to mean your children suffer. That divorce doesn’t have to mean you suffer.
Our deepest fear really is that we are powerful beyond measure.
Walls keep everything out. We can’t put up a wall to keep the dark out without keeping the light out as well.
We teach people how to treat us.
It is easier to blame others than it is to look at ourselves.
Forgiveness is powerful medicine.
Wherever you go, there you are. Make sure you like yourself.
Showing up is half the battle.
Kindreds arrive when you need them most.
Coming home to yourself is the sweetest love of all.